to live for the hope of it all: being a fangirl in the summer of 2024
"This summer is the apocalypse" - Taylor Alison Swift (August 29th, 2016)
Let me tell you, I've never related to one of her quotes more. For the past few years, this line from her Lover Diary has been on a constant loop in my head, over and over again. This summer specifically, I've felt it more than ever. With the chaotic mix of my ever-tumultuous personal life and the current state of the world, I've been feeling incredibly burnt out, desperately longing for a taste of the summers I had growing up.
Summers when we were younger were soooo different. They were wide open, filled with pool days and chasing after ice cream trucks. There was so much excitement in the simple pleasures of staying up late and having weeknight sleepovers with our friends.
Summer felt like freedom back then, and I long for even just a week of no commitments; to bask in the warm days doing whatever my heart desires. In the words of Jo March herself: "I can't believe childhood is over." And with the summer I've had, I am grieving big time.
But even in my nostalgia and petulant misery, I've been finding and appreciating so many bright spots of wonder and joy that have found me this summer, in addition to all the lessons I've learned and the person it's helping me become!
So, I wanted to dedicate this blog to writing out and sharing all of them with you. A list of my summer favs as a fangirl, if you will. (:
Fav Books:
It has been the summer of ROMCOMS for me! Which is sooo unusual because many people who know me know that I used to have a complex around them. Not because they weren't good, but because they made me quite literally depressed to read them in the same way I would read a fantasy. Why does a loving, healthy romantic relationship feel just as unattainable as going to Velaris?! (For my happily married readers, it is sooo bad out here.)
Anyway—I digress. I think about a year ago, I read my first Emily Henry book, Book Lovers, and I was instantly converted. This was pre-Happy Place too, so I got to read that pub-week, which was so fun. Flash forward to this summer, and what really kicked off romcom summer was Funny Story, even though I read it back in April. I'm still counting it!
Daphne and Miles were everything, and I cried my way through that entire book. Isn't it crazy how even stories that don’t mimic your own life at all can still speak so much to how you feel? And I FELT Daphne and her pain. It was cathartic, to say the least!
So naturally, when everyone was GABBING about a book called Just For The Summer... I casually put in my Libby request to see what was up, not thinking I was going to even get it before the end of the summer due to how in high demand it was. Let’s just say, it got me out of my reading slump fast and had me putting in requests for every other Abby Jimenez book my library had. I’ve officially read the big three (Part of Your World, Yours Truly, and Just For the Summer) and I feel so fed. I can't tell you my favorite just yet, but I can tell you I’m on a romcom ROLL!
My library also had all three books of The Summer I Turned Pretty trilogy available with no holds, so I snagged those up quick, and they're next on my TBR after I finish Done and Dusted! It’s my first cowboy romance, and I’m sure I'll be hooooked after. I’ve only heard amazing things!
Also, if you’ve been keeping up with my sporadic Instagram stories, you'd know my Star Wars hyperfixation came back HARD around the end of last year! And it has yet to fade... 11 months in and me and pookie are still going strong! So I’ve been reading a lot of the books in that universe too. For a world so full of angst and tragedy, it’s confusing that I find it so comforting to come back to again and again. 💀
With that being said, I very recently finished the Attack of the Clones novelization, which is my comfort movie! To read it though? EXTRA painful. I thought I might find it boring or repetitive since I am sooo familiar with the movie, but what was added made it feel like a brand new story and just as interesting as my first watch-through. This leads me to my...
Fav Movies + Shows:
It’s truly been the summer of rewatches and nostalgia. I want to watch things that feel familiar or like a warm hug. I haven’t had the capacity to watch anything new without it giving me the worst anxiety.
Because of this, I’ve rewatched Attack of the Clones more times than I can count. It’s something I put on when I need a bit of comfort and a familiar story I love or want something playing in the background while I work and can't give the TV my full attention!
To add to the Star Wars brainrot, I did find it in myself to tune into The Acolyte weekly, anxiety be damned. And let me tell you, I ate that up!!! I’m not really a hard critic or hater towards media ever—I always say for me to not like something it has to be reallllyyyy bad, so I didn’t understand at all why people weren’t enjoying it. ESPECIALLY once a super sexy Sith hit the screen... there was nary a complaint to leave my mouth. Leslye Headland, my life is YOURS.
In the realm of rewatches and nostalgia, I showed my favorite summer movie to the kiddos I watch from time to time. The movie in question, you ask? Aquamarine! I will always have so many fond memories of this movie, and no matter how many times I watch it, I cry at the end. It’s so full of everything good! Platonic love, friendship, crushes, mermaids, summer 🥺 Plus, I've always wanted those starfish earrings so bad!
I made little mocktails with edible glitter in them and named it "The Last Splash" for them to have while they watched. It had lemonade, Sprite, and blue raspberry syrup, and I used a cocktail toothpick to top it with a Trolli worm. I also brought Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food because it is truly criminal to watch that movie without it. We made a full day of it, complete with crafts, hair tinsel, and glitter.
Lastly, I was partaking in the cultural phenomenon of tuning into House of The Dragon every Sunday night. I’ve read Fire and Blood, so I knew this season was going to be HEAVY. And contrary to many fans, I don’t hate the liberties they’ve taken in the ways they’ve deviated from the book. Since the book is a maester giving historical accounts of what happened, it leaves room for the writers of the show to fill in the gaps and still be canon! Also, SPOILER ALERT! My Rhaenicent heart was bursting at all the content we got with them. The TikTok editors are doing their thing! My favorites are to Taylor Swift, of course, but if you see any... send them my way, PLEASE!
Fav Music:
The new Gracie Abrams album, The Secret of Us! My top three are Us ft. Taylor Swift, I Love You I'm Sorry, and Free Now.
Chappell Roan! I've loved her for quite some time now, but with her music constantly trending on tiktok currently, I find myself doing the HOTTOGO dance to myself all the time.
Charli XCX and all things brat summer! This trend has been so fun and I listen to 365 every time I go to the gym. I just know the girlies in Crescent City would've lived for this
The Tortured Poets Department still on repeat: I am trauma bonded to this album and it hasn't left my rotation since it's debut into the world. On my knees begging for Reputation TV though...
Fav Lessons/Memories:
This summer has forced me to slow down in many ways. I haven’t had the disposable income to really travel at all, nor the time, even if I did.
I have been in the throes of building a marketing business and have spent a lot of late nights working, developing, dreaming, crying, you name it—all while trying to keep August Alchemy running smoothly. I feel like I missed out on a lot because of it, and I don't mean that in a pity party way. But I haven’t had nearly as much time with the people I love as I’ve wanted and have had to turn down more invitations than ever before.
I know one day it’ll all be worth it, and I’m proud of myself for pushing through, but this season has taught me how to really find comfort and gratitude in the simplest things. A phone call with a friend, my hairstylist discounting my service, getting off before 10 p.m. so I can spend a little time doing something I love—all became that much more meaningful. In these growing pains, I’ve felt starved for comfort, so when I experience even just a sliver of it, it feels sooo decadent.
I will never forget these small acts of kindness and teeny moments of comfort. It has put so much in perspective for me, and although I would never relive this summer again, even if you paid me a million dollars, I’m thankful for it all the same.
On a more lighthearted note! I got to teach my VERY FIRST CANDLE-MAKING CLASS! It was for the retreat I was on, hosted by one of my best friends, Dede, The Bookish Witch.
I had everyone set intentions for their candles and absolutely delighted in seeing these people I adore mix their own fragrance blends and create these really magical, intention-filled candles.
In addition to the candle-making class, this entire retreat was sooo full of girlhood, love, light, and warmth. It was in the Utah mountains in the most gorgeous cabin. We had an ACOTAR night too, where we all dressed up and played ACOTAR Guess Who and Prythian Cards Against Humanity. 10/10 recommend you go on the next one if you can. 👀
Rapid-Fire Memories:
a jaw dropping, SPECTACULAR Shrek themed half birthday party hosted by one of my friends! She went all out on decor and theming, and everyone dressed up; even the dogs.
Stargazing on the beach while listening to Taylor Swift with one of my best friends. I felt like I was a character in a movie, and think about how magical it was all the time.
There were other small, but perfect, moments that happened this summer— in addition to the gut wrenching, uncomfortable, and painful ones. Whether it was breakfast dates with my friends, or walking my dog, or going to the gym, I have quite literally been living for the hope of it all this summer.
Thank you for being here, and bearing witness to what has given me joy this summer! I am manifesting a slow and restful fall for us all. 🤍
xo matea